3.28.2011

Re-affirmation

I haven't posted in a while. Frankly, that's because I've seemed to hit another plateau. After a great January, February wasn't so spectacular. A mere 2 pounds, total, and only about 5". When the numbers slow down like that, sometimes it's hard to get motivated again. I do know one of the problems is that I haven't been nearly as good with my food as I was. The occasional indulgence isn't bad; in fact, studies show it can be a good thing. But every day, or every other day, isn't "occasional." Having dessert after both lunch and dinner, no matter how low-calorie it is, is still two desserts in one day. And while I'm a master at justifying most anything to myself, scales and tape measures aren't forgiving. They're just blatantly honest. Because of all this, I went to North Carolina last weekend with mixed feelings. I was going to surprise my brother-in-law for his 40th birthday, and it'd been just over 7 months since I'd seen him and my brother. I hadn't lost nearly as much during that time as I'd hoped to, and I was at a point where I look in the mirror, and was frustrated. The party and the visit ended up being exactly what I needed, though. Mutual friends kept commenting on how fabulous I looked. The best comment for me, though, came from my brother. He said, "I knew you were going to be there, and yet I did a double-take when I saw you. I almost didn't recognize you because you've lost so much weight." Later that evening the three of us were just talking about various things, and he mentioned how some mutual friends were considering lap band surgery, and that he wished they'd talk to me, because I was "walking, living proof you don't need to go to the extremes of surgery." While that is true, where I am is the result of 18+ months of dedication. It's truly been a life style change. I work out - a lot - but a big part of that is because I enjoy it. Watching what I eat isn't nearly the fun. I love food. I love it quite a lot. I love it like a dysfunctional lover - I know I should say no and walk away, but sometimes it's impossible. I down around 70 pounds, and it has taken me quite some time to get here. I have another 40-60 pounds to go, and I know I can do it, even when I have set-backs. Fortunately, I have several points along the way this summer where I'll see people I haven't seen in a long time. That should keep me motivated.

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